Valentines Day Mayhem
by misunderstoodemon
Summary: Five of the boys have not done their shopping, and have only tonight to do it, and must fight the male population of Denver in order to do.


Authors Note: This is just that- Valentines Day Mayhem. My characters are here, though not by name. Kim dates Vin, and Brianna is going out with Ezra. I gave Josiah Maude and Buck whoever he wanted. He was thrilled about that, and the first person he asked for was some model, but you put who you like in here. Nathan and Chris aren't here because I'm not sure who Chris would but for and Nathan was smart enough to buy Rains gift weeks ago.

Please, keep your mind out of the gutter. This rating is for your own sick mind, and all the gross images you've probably conjured up for poor Vin and Ezra to contend with. I'd say keep it clean, but it's a losing battle, and for all I know you could be keeping it clean already.

Disclaimer: I... I don't own any of them. God that hurt. sniff Don't make me say it again. It hurts.

February the 13th. Of all the days they had left shopping for it had to be the day before Valentines Day.

Only Nathan and Chris were absent of all the Seven, having fled the office as soon as five o'clock rolled around to avoid being used as support for the other five as they braved the mall. As they entered, they were met with the stench of sweat, fear, and too much testosterone. What seemed to be hundreds of other men were crowded into any store selling flowers, jewelry, chocolate or clothing. A select few, having retired from the fight, were nursing coffee or something stronger in the select few shops that were not filled with others. The only women present were those working, and even they looked tired, especially of being sought out by men with panic-stricken faces and no answers to simple questions like 'what's her favorite colour?' Once inside the mall, they decided they would meet back there at 8, when the mall closed, and joined the vast crowd of terrified males.

Spying a store that looked a little less crowded than others, Vin walked over to it and peeked inside. Smiling at the various pieces of leather adorning the walls, he went in.

JD and Buck did their best to enter the nearest jewelry store, but in the end, had to wait until a small horde of dazed men came out before joining the fray.

Josiah wandered for several minutes before finding a chocolate shop and, seeing that they had some left, unlike those closer to an entrance, dove in with the several others who had spotted it, all desperate men.

Ezra was truly at a loss for what to get. She hadn't been expecting anything, and as such hadn't dropped any hints about what she would like, so he was at a loss. Sighting a store that catered to one of her more peculiar tastes, he braced himself and went in.

"How big is she?" Vin made a circular motion with his hands, and the sales lady pointed up at one of the models on a higher shelf. "I can bring it down if you'd like. Have any idea what colour she'd like?" Vin thought about it for a minute.

"Jist a normal brown'd be nice, I think." The woman nodded, and climbed a ladder to heft down the model she'd pointed at earlier.

"Feel that. We also have lighter ones, if that's too heavy." Vin lifted it with a hand a couple of times before nodding.

"I think this one's good. I'll take it."

"Do you think Casey'd like this one, Buck?

"Hmm?" Buck asked, distracted from his perusal of a set of earrings.

"I said, do you think Casey'd like this bracelet?"

"I think that one'll look real pretty one her." JD looked at the glittering piece of jewelry in his hand once more before deciding. Walking up to as close as he could to the register, he started the long wait.

Buck danced from foot to foot, loaded down with purchases for his many beaus. JD was already at the cash register, and he was only three from the back. But, then again, JD only had to buy for one girl. A dreamy smile crept over his face as he began to consider the reactions of the ladies he was buying for when he presented them with their gifts.

Josiah emerged from the chocolate store tired after only a few minutes, but victorious. Deciding that a flower would be appropriate, he braced himself, made sure his purchase wouldn't be damaged in the up and coming battle and made for another battlefield.

Ezra pulled one after the other down off the shelf, inspecting them before checking them against the lengthy list that took up all the space in several of his pockets before either putting it back or placing it in the ever-growing pile of ones he would take. Deciding that he finally had enough, he grabbed them (after stuffing the too-long-to-be-good list back into the various pockets it had come from) and made his way to the checkout.

Gathering by the entrance they had vacated mere hours ago, all the men looked tired. One by one they appeared and collapsed to the ground, heedless of how dirty it was. As the last of their number joined them (Josiah, fresh from battle), they showed each other their purchases.

JD had bought a thin silver bracelet for Casey, and had it engraved with her initials. Buck had bought various sets of rings, earrings, necklaces, and hair clips, all suitably sparkly. Josiah held up a bow of chocolates and a rose as his reward for braving this day of all days at the mall, and Ezra grimaced before merely heaving the, surprisingly heavy bag around to show the very unromantic logo of a comic book store and held up one of his prizes- a first edition Superman. "She collects them." he said dryly, and several of the others looked surprised at this blunt statement and at the realization that, somehow, collecting comic books fit her personality perfectly.

Vin, of all of them, seemed the least marked, and even held a mostly-eaten slice of pizza in his hand as he grinned back at their puzzled glances. Without saying a word, he reached down to the box at his feet and pulled out a new...

Saddle.

More than one weak chuckle surfaced and they all headed out, having survived another year of Valentines Day Mayhem.

OK, review away, folks! I'm thinking of doing a Halloween one, or another holiday. Review with your ideas, and I'll do my best!

PS, a BIG THANK YOU to Duchess67, and Cassandra30, who seem to be my most loyal M7 reviewers.

I love you guys!!


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